Bye Bye Liam Fox. Don’t let the door hit  Adam Werritty in the ass on the way out.

It should have been Bill Gates.

Like you didn’t think it…

How come, whenever there’s a riot, you never hear about anyone looting a library?

I hear that Amy Winehouse was cremated.I guess she just couldn’t stop smoking.

19) How well can you speak english?

Answer) Well enough to know that 17 is a statement, not a question.

Dire Straits hit ‘Money For Nothing’ has just been banned from Canadian radio…26 years after it was released!

Following a single complaint, The Canadian Broadcasts Standards Council has ruled the song too offensive for Canadian airwaves because it contains the word ‘faggot’, which it concludes is a word that ‘even if entirely or marginally acceptable in earlier days, is no longer so.’

Following their decision, The Canadian Broadcasts Standards Council went onto ban Tom Robinson’s ‘Sing If You’re Glad To Be Gay’, stating that ‘even if entirely or marginally acceptable in earlier days, it is no longer acceptable to call the British Police the best in the world‘…

Today, Boney M frontman Bobby Farrell was found dead in his hotel room in St. Petersburg.

According to Sergei Kapitanov, representative of St. Petersburg’s branch of Russia’s investigative committee, “ The cause of his death was not immediately clear.”

Putting some poison into his wine and shooting him ’till he was dead have yet to be ruled out.

Apparently Gillian McKeith has been smuggling The Spice Girls in her knickers. Probably the best place for them.

You have been evicted. Please leave the Big Brother Mine.

Whilst The Pope is in London, I’m hoping to see him…do his impersonation of Roberto Calvi!