A large bowel tumour has just undergone emergency surgery to have Jade Goody removed. Following a successful operation, the tumour is said to be in a stable condition and feeling enormously relieved to have had the large cancerous lump removed.

Grave news. Last night, lead singer and founder of psychobilly legends, ‘The Cramps‘, shuffled off this mortal coil to finally fulfil a long standing date with Elvis. On the downside, this means no more lyrics such as ‘There’s more things in Tennessee, than’s dreamed of in your philosophy.’ On the upside…Poison Ivy is now single (like you didn’t think it too).

So does this mean the end of The Cramps? Frankly I doubt it. A bit of voodoo here, a little reanimation there and before you know they’ll be back, with an undead lead singer.

Sick, sick? No! I’ve got good taste!