Farrah Fawcett died today.

Michael Jackson was so shocked by the news that he had a heart attack.

According to BBC news, a Welsh family have discovered Jesus in a jar of Marmite.

Christianity…you either love it or hate it!

The other day, the BNP did a ‘party political broadcast’, in which they claimed to be opposed to anti-social behaviour.
I know they are a joke, but I didn’t realise they are doing comedy.

How dare they come over here and take my job!

“Flour is used only from a dedicate kosher for passover mill… Extra water cooling unit for ‘mayim shelonu’ maintains a constant low temperature for the dough… Exclusively designed mixer only used for passover matzos ensures a perfect mix with no flour residue and no heat beaters and bowels… Continuous cleaning by roller brushes and a unique air system plus non stick coatings on all movable parts completely remove any dough or dust particles… Air conditioning in the passover area maintains a low ambient temperature before the oven… Kosher for passover matzos are all produced where the time from contact of flour with water until entry into the oven is under 18 minutes…”

 

BECAUSE WHEN THEY WERE FLEEING EGYPT, THAT’S HOW THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL MADE IT…

After drawing things out for maximum publicity value, Jade Goody has finally dropped dead, making the world a better place… one piece of ignorant racist white trash at a time…

A large bowel tumour has just undergone emergency surgery to have Jade Goody removed. Following a successful operation, the tumour is said to be in a stable condition and feeling enormously relieved to have had the large cancerous lump removed.

Grave news. Last night, lead singer and founder of psychobilly legends, ‘The Cramps‘, shuffled off this mortal coil to finally fulfil a long standing date with Elvis. On the downside, this means no more lyrics such as ‘There’s more things in Tennessee, than’s dreamed of in your philosophy.’ On the upside…Poison Ivy is now single (like you didn’t think it too).

So does this mean the end of The Cramps? Frankly I doubt it. A bit of voodoo here, a little reanimation there and before you know they’ll be back, with an undead lead singer.

Sick, sick? No! I’ve got good taste!

Hey, it’s a credit crunch…do you really need a new one?

Yesterday, Pope Benedict XVI, looking simply fabulous in his long white frock, told senior Vatican staff that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

This confirms something I’ve thought for a long time…about the papacy!

Yesterday, Zimbabwe’s President, Robert Mugabe, declared that Cholera had been arrested.

Many people disagree, but I believe him. After all, he’s arrested everything else…