Following an election at the weekend, Australia has a hung parliament, with neither Labour nor the Conservatives having enough seats to form a majority.

Nick Clegg is negotiating with both sides.

A little bird informs me that Playboy magazine is coming to the iPad. However, in order to comply with Apple’s anti-porn stance, there will be no risqué content.

Well I guess that now people really can read it just for the articles.

Today Conservative mayor of London, Boris Johnson, introduced his cycle hire scheme to the capital. I guess some things never change…almost 30 years on and the tories are still telling people to get on their bikes.

According to this piece on Yahoo, Greenpeace have seized control of all BP petrol stations in London. Apparently “BP says it is aware that some ‘irresponsible acts’ have taken place”…hence the need for action by Greenpeace…

There’s no such thing as (the big) society.

Can’t extradite him, can’t shoot him.

It’s a pipe…try turning the taps off!

Hello, you’ve reached Her Majesty’s Government.

We’re sorry there’s no one here to take your call at the moment as we’re in America, Scotland and wherever else we can get a free ticket to.

Please leave your message after the tone so that we can ignore it.

This message will self destruct in 18-24 months…

I can’t quite seem to decide upon my response to the news that the British election has resulted in a Liberal con coalition. My shortlist is below. I’m thinking of having a vote on it. Then again, maybe not…

- Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

- Worst election result ever!

- “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”

- So near, yet so fucked!

- “Crisis, what crisis?”

- Things Can Only Get worse…

- I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!

And so is the British Parliament…