Today Conservative mayor of London, Boris Johnson, introduced his cycle hire scheme to the capital. I guess some things never change…almost 30 years on and the tories are still telling people to get on their bikes.

According to this piece on Yahoo, Greenpeace have seized control of all BP petrol stations in London. Apparently “BP says it is aware that some ‘irresponsible acts’ have taken place”…hence the need for action by Greenpeace…

There’s no such thing as (the big) society.

Can’t extradite him, can’t shoot him.

It’s a pipe…try turning the taps off!

Hello, you’ve reached Her Majesty’s Government.

We’re sorry there’s no one here to take your call at the moment as we’re in America, Scotland and wherever else we can get a free ticket to.

Please leave your message after the tone so that we can ignore it.

This message will self destruct in 18-24 months…

I can’t quite seem to decide upon my response to the news that the British election has resulted in a Liberal con coalition. My shortlist is below. I’m thinking of having a vote on it. Then again, maybe not…

- Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

- Worst election result ever!

- “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”

- So near, yet so fucked!

- “Crisis, what crisis?”

- Things Can Only Get worse…

- I’m a celebrity, get me out of here!

And so is the British Parliament…

Yesterday, Unilever commenced legal proceedings against extremist right wing party, the BNP, for featuring a jar of  Marmite (a Unilever brand), in a ‘party political broadcast’.

It seems that the BNP’s bizarre use of the jar of  controversial black spread is a response to a Marmite viral, posted earlier this month, featuring a spoof election  broadcast by the ‘Hate Party’.

According to this piece, Griffin’s Facebook page is quoted as stating “Unilever PR men and lawyers over us like a rash. Very upset at our using Marmite in our TV broadcast. They should have thought of that before modelling the one for their Hate Party on us. They’ll be even more upset if they push us further and I start eating a jar of Marmite on my next live TV appearance!”

I look forward to watching Nick Griffin sucking down something thick and black.

For the first time ever (apparently) all UK flights have been grounded because of an Icelandic volcano erupting. Iceland have promised the spewing of hot air and acrid debris will cease as soon as they get their money back